Sometimes memories go apart. Sometimes they stay the same.

1st draft of an apology (Face A)

It all started with a school trip to the holy land in 2008. I was young and beautiful and I remember watching “Don’t mess with the Zohan” on the plane over. The student group that was going wasn’t mine but someone invited me and I kind of snuck in, took a free pass. I tried to find my place, play my part.

I dreamt of getting on a bus to Egypt, but it was already too late.
One night someone got a donkey and insisted the Professor would ride it. I remember asking for a purpose of it all.

The next day the German Bishop of Bethlehem held a long sad speech about the Palestinian question, and how it was all his fault, Germany’s fault.

I was already looking for something else, I just didn’t know it was you.

2nd draft of an apology (Face B)

I remember having a mental breakdown in the Holy Sepulcher, a mild case of the Jerusalem syndrome. Back in Bethlehem, in the room where we were staying, I remember feeling liberated. Alive. Reborn? Hungry somehow.

Days passed and my hunger turned in to unrest. Something was pulling me closer to you.

I found a mysterious boy. He fascinated me for a minute.

Then I found a regular guy. He decided to call me XL after a local energy drink. That night I couldn’t sleep. Maybe it was the XL? Maybe it was the star of Bethlehem?

I remember trying to dream about getting on a bus to Egypt, but it was already too late.

The next day I found you, or perhaps you found me?